Broken Silence

Joanna Newsom

2008-04-08T08:48:00.000-07:00

She sounds like a troll but she's pretty hot.

Once and for all. . .

2008-03-25T08:37:00.001-07:00

Let it be known that metal is stupid.

And on that note, that's why I fucking love it.

Are you a Hulkamaniac?

2008-01-22T08:07:00.000-08:00

For the Hulkster in Heaven MP3, click here.

If you're interested in some quality writing on Hulk's musical exploits, check out Nate Gangelhoff's Pick Your Poison for a review of Hulk's rap album.

Lemme smell yo dick!

2007-12-24T20:30:00.000-08:00

Mario Paint!

2007-12-23T18:10:00.000-08:00

Download Mario Paint Composer here and make your own shit!

Interestingly, I came across this while I was trudging through the internets, looking for more Rick Roll goodness.

In Se7en Rainbows

2007-11-30T06:33:00.000-08:00

If you have not downloaded the album for free yet, you should.

The collaboration to end all collaborations

2007-11-20T07:52:00.000-08:00

The Danzig voice is spot fucking on. SUPER!

Emo GRRRLS

2007-09-09T09:29:00.000-07:00

Word

2007-06-25T20:46:00.000-07:00

Lyrics:
(Intro)
Maximo (3 times)

Tell me why
Why must I cry
Tell me why
Why must I cry
Why must I cry

Why must I cry why must I cry why ( 6 times)
Tell me why

(Verse)
No matter what I did I tried to love this kid, ever since he was eight
All he ever did was lie and steal from me
Now he's seventeen and I thought that he'd change his ways but when I look at kid
He's still hating on me
It makes me sad to see this kid, he's still hating on me, he's bad I just can't lie anymore
I gotta push him through the door
Recently the kid stole my jewelry, I turn my back and he steals my gun from me
Kid be careful you're gonna shoot someone and end up in jail
A death sentence is that what you want? I know that you really hate me but why did you have to do these things to me. It's not fair you really don't care.
Don't understand why you gotta go this route, don't you understand without a doubt it's the wrong path, understand

(Chours)
Tell me why
Why must I cry
Tell me why
Why must I cry
Why must I cry why must I cry why (3 times)
Tell me why

Why must I cry why must I cry why (3 times)
Tell me why

(Verse)
Tammie Starr, who do you think you are, using those kids as weapons you know it's not fair Tyler I really love you and I really miss you and Deja
Now I got twins on the way, Tammie Starr you've gone away
California haven't heard from ya that's why

(chorus)
Tell me why
Why must I cry
Tell me why
Why must I cry

ssshhhh. . . SECRET SHOWS!!!!!!!!

2007-06-23T08:55:00.000-07:00

Ever heard of a little something known as Myspace Secret Shows, sponsored by Chili's?! Well up until today I had not. I guess you have to add Chili's as your friend and they will send you secret clues so that you can go onto their forums and discuss with all the other dorks who you think will be the next featured Chili's band to play. So the first thought to cross my mind was "Chili's has a fucking Myspace accoung?" I checked it out and it's pretty cool. They have a forum on there with employees bitching about their managers leaving all the time. I just can't stop thinking about the Chotscky's manager in Office Space. So, what? Anyway, I don't know where I'm going with this, I think I'm just befuddled. Check it out:

I see a few funny things in those pictures, do you?

Alice Cooper on NPR

2007-06-22T14:34:00.000-07:00

Ohh shit, I was recently reminded of Alice Cooper's interview on NPR awhile ago, fucking rad! Check it out, he's coming out with a golf book.

Time to break out the old five iron!

rad.

2007-06-13T11:37:00.000-07:00

Kazoo.

"Some of these songs feature 25 layers of Munk. He plays all of the following intruments. Lead Kazoos, Background Kazoos, Rythym Kazoos, Kazoo Vocals, Kazoo Background Vocals, as well as the percussion line up which features: Accordion Case Bass Drum, Combination Oatmeal Tin/Roll of Duct Tape with Nails in it Snare Drum, Double Whisks, Drinking Glass, Pencil Holder full of Pens and Pencils, and Plastic Water Jug"

Scrapin' on my scraper bike

2007-05-30T05:38:00.000-07:00

I'm still not sure what a scraper bike is. I think it's maybe just the flashy wheels?

Grillz by Paul Wall

2007-05-21T18:15:00.000-07:00

Check it!

I love that he gives a 10% discount to military personnel. You can even get your very own Paul Wall bobblehead!

Please email me if you are in the military, so I can get a bobblehead and this grill on the cheap.

Fuck

2007-05-10T15:16:00.000-07:00

Holy shit! Never again.

Shred for the Lord

2007-03-09T07:34:00.000-08:00

It gets good about two minutes in.

Check out www.winterhaven.name for more great Winter Haven jams and pictures.

Five Year-Old with a Beard's Walkman

2006-08-01T09:03:00.000-07:00

When I was a Sophmore in high school I took an art class with this degenerate gangbanger thug wannabe guy. I don't remember his real name but behind his back we all called him Five Year-Old with a Beard because he was like 5'5" and had a baby face but he had a goatee. This deviant of a freshman would always talk about the hood and the marijuana plants he was growing and all the crack dealers that hung out near his house and so on. Anyway, I remember he had this really old walkman, kind of like this one-

This thing was so awesome it didn't even have a rewind button! You'd have to flip the tape and fast forward if you wanted to rewind! Every day he'd bring it in a play some sort of commercial rap, the kind of stuff you'd read about in The Source's up and coming, "underground," or whatever type of section. Surprisingly, he'd let me and my pal, Pumpkinhead, listen to his jams every now and again to show off how badass his tunes were. One time he played that Tupac song, "All About U." I fell in love the moment I heard the words-

Every other city we go
Every other video
No matter where I go
I see the same hoes

Genius, I tell you, pure genius. I don't remember my point, listen to the song though.

My online, autobiographical record collection

2006-07-08T10:45:00.000-07:00

So I started an online journal of my record collection. Check it out here. I hope to do five each week. This week's five are:

No More Plastic

2006-07-07T10:50:00.000-07:00

I have been without a CD player since I got back to Boston, about 6 weeks now, and I'm really starting to miss it. You see, I left a few things with a good friend of mine before I went home because I was to move into a new place when I got back. I still have not gotten those things back, including my CD player. I have some 350+ pieces of music that I cannot listen to, save for the lackluster experience of listening through my iBook, which I refuse to do. I've been saving my dollars so I have not been buying many new jams lately. Ohh how I am missing some old favorites as well as yearning to hear some of the newer jams that I have managed to acquire recently. I thought I could live for awhile off of just my records and cassettes but I'm starting to see that this certainly is not the case. You never know what you've got until it's gone, my friend.

Miranda-Don: Venezuela meets Japan?

2006-05-25T10:47:00.000-07:00

This whole song reminds me of a videogame, as does the entire country of Japan. I'm not really one for electro-pop or whatever you'd call this, but it's too catchy not to love. I've been listening to this track every day since I heard it a little over a week ago. My sister and I agree that clearly the best part of the song is at about 2:10, "Es un solo? Es la guitara de Lolo." Who the fuck is named Lolo? Maybe this is not as funny to people who don't speak Spanish.

Basement Shows are Stupid, VIVA LA KITCHENS!

2006-04-27T13:00:00.000-07:00

Quality and Quantity

2006-04-13T06:43:00.000-07:00

In 8th grade I had just gotten my first CD player. I didn't have much money and thus had only a modest CD collection. I feel like I was so much more connected to the tunes back then. I knew every track, every line, every word, every sentiment. I'd spend hours at a time thrashing around my room to my favorite jams. Those few choice albums still touch me deeper than most of the records I have recently acquired. A wide variety means selection and choice at the expense of intimacy. Being stuck with just a few choice albums means knowing the them inside and out. Spending entire nights on one album meant several spins with lyrics read-alongs and thoughtful booklet considerations, not to mention incessant dancing. These days, with the instant gratification provided by MP3s, kids are missing out on so much of what music could be.

Though the popular argument that one should not have to pay for an entire album for just for one song and a bunch of filler is cogent, it's a double-edged sword in that many musicians who use online methods of distribution may not feel the need to create coherent albums. Additionally, packaging and cover art will soon become an afterthought, only to completely vanish one of these days, making the experience worth even less. Easy transmission of music means that more idiots can fill the pool with their worthless nonsense, making the listener, with no monetary screens, wade through more awful notes. But why look at a spec in their eye when I've a plank in my own?

I have stacks and stacks of records, CDs, and cassettes, filling every corner of my room. There is certainly no way for me to get as much out of most of those albums as I got out of those first few CDs. My short list continues to grow as my patience continues to shrink. As vinyl becomes a magnet becomes ones and zeroes, albums become tracks become sound clips. Not even able to sit through one song, people often skip around tracks like there's no tomorrow, cutting off seconds or even minutes of songs to get to the next. Anything I want is at my disposal but everything I need has become muddied by my selfish desires. No longer do I cherish that which was once sacred, for it is now a commodity.

My first few CDs in order (as best I can remember) of acquisition-

PunkConnection.com

2006-03-31T15:47:00.000-08:00

"To me, dishonesty hurts more than honesty."

-_vampyre_

AWESOME! I was checking out BostonPunk.org, marking up my planner as usual when I saw a Google ad for "punk dating service." Naturally I clicked on it and ohh boy, it was even better than I imagined! It's owned by MatchPoint, LLC, a company that apparently specializes in online dating sites. They even have a site designed for married people to meet other married people to go on dates with!? Yeah, MarriedSecrets.com is out there for all your polygamous dating needs. But I digress. Punk Connection is even better than Makeout Club because it's apparently more accessible to people who live in Nowhere, USA. Here are some of my favorite quotes-

"What I'm looking for:
some son of a bitch who doesn't give a damn about much of anything...oh and is really dirty cuz im such a dirt bag"

-xXTrueBelieversXx

For somebody who describes herself as an alcoholic she sure has a lot of X's in her screen name. But hell, I'm usually kind of filthy so maybe I should get her number. She lives in Pennsylvania but she's willing to travel, I'm so in!

By the way, I'm sort of doing this all on the fly while also doing my radio show, but this post is keeping me pretty happy. By the way, I got a 22oz Lagunitas Brown Shugga ale that I can't wait to drink when I get off of work at 3am tonight. So yeah, let me do a little search for punk singles in my area, eh? YES! Ooohh, I found a Marilyn Manson quote! "We Hate Love, We Love Hate" was written on the back of my buddy, Ian's (R.I.P.), shirt back along with a sign of the beast hand and a 666. He got in a lot of trouble for wearing that shirt to school and then I got into trouble for having anarchy symbols markered on my head. I was in 8th grade, come on, it was funny.

"if you are preppy or a wannabie piss off if you like linkin park/sum41/and shit like that piss off posers and fakes! better yet if you like anything that plays on MTV then you are a poser so fuck off and don't waste my time! I like old school punk like GBH,old Misfits,The Adicts, Black Flag,Sex Pistols,THE EXPLOITED, THE CURE, RAMONES, ect....I am looking for a real Punk girl"

-Deathrider

Wow, his avatar is an anarchy symbol. What a turd this guy is. I'm actually getting kind of bored with this, which means that you probably have been bored for awhile now. Sorry to have taken out my boredom on you.

Muzak to my ears

2006-03-20T14:30:00.000-08:00

A few days ago I was a lazy slob so I decided to take the elevator up to the floor I live on. Left all by my lonesome in that big hollow box, I occupied my time by looking at myself in the ceiling mirrors, having a face-making battle with a rather formidable opponent. I can't remember who won, but it was definitely a close call. In the heat of battle, however, I thought to myself, "Why isn't this elevator playing any elevator music?" For the rest of the trip up I contemplated this anomaly only to conclude that my elevator is in fact not an exception, rather it is the standard. Honestly, how many elevators can you credit as purveyors of fine muzak? Not that many, eh?! I raced to unlock my front door only to barge into my room and discover more about the little known subject of elevator music.

Wikipedia was my primary point of reference. Major General George O. Squier coined the term "Muzak" by combining music with Kodak. Apparently he just liked the name Kodak and figured "what the hell, Kodak is a fine film and I've created a fine way to transmit background music, MUZAK!" Wikipedia is some fine reading but it's not as complete as Muzak.com. At that site you can listen to music programs that the Muzak corporation has created for various clients, such as Popeye's, Lenscrafters, Red Lobster, and many more. They give detailed descriptions for why they chose the music they did. For example, the Lensecrafters program "is a mix of current and recurrent adult contemporary, adult alternative, mature vocals, classic soul and acid jazz." They chose this program because it is "Confident, Engaging, Integrity, Authentic, Experienced, Innovative, Honest, 'In The Know.'"

These people put a lot of thought into the jams, a lot more thought in fact than a lot of stupid bands these days. Check out the USPS case study if you want to listen to some awesome instructions in Spanish. You can even create your own Muzak with their "audio imaging" form! It rules, you can create music based on energy, mood, lifestyle, and style! Check it out!

Muzak.com
Wikipedia

Captain Jean-Luc Picard and His U.S.S. Enterprise

2006-03-13T21:55:00.000-08:00

You know those familiar old songs that really get to you? Those songs that reveal vivid memories. More often than not, one or two specific lines are the real clenchers, those few words capable of evoking either divine reminiscences or unpleasant recollections. For me, one line from The Picard Song can put me into a state of euphoria and I owe it all to ytmnd.com. In the summer of 2005, this YTMND forever changed my life. . .

Captain Jean-Luc Picard, the U.S.S. Enterprise times infinity equals a good time. Dark Materia doesn't mess around on this anthem, but it was the genius, ShittyMcShit, who took The Picard Song to a whole new level. Catchy and to the point, the repetition of that one line never gets old.

It's so easy to dance to, even those with fake hips and arthritis can enjoy it.

Here's a good game that's sure to please you and your friends-
1. Go to a party that is playing music through a computer.
2. Go to Picard's YTMND in your favorite web browser.
3. Turn the music program's volume way down and the master volume way up.
4. Minimize the web browser window and maximize the music program window.
5. Get out on the dance floor with your buddies and dance like nobody's business while recruiting other happy party guests to join in the hoopla.
6. Watch the party host frantically try to resolve their issue with the novel song as you and your dance buddies have a good time with one of the greatest captains this universe has ever known.

Listen to the song but don't say I didn't warn you. Once you hear it you won't ever be the same again.

The Picard Song
ytmnd.com
Picard's YTMND
Shitty McShit (creator of Picard's YTMND)
Dark Materia (creator of The Picard Song)